Connecting With Your Child Through Play: The Surprising Benefits of Parent-Child Playtime

Exchange Family Center April 10, 2018

We’ve all been there. You come home at the end of a long day feeling exhausted. All you want to do is collapse on the couch and relax. And then, just as you sit down and take off your shoes, you hear: “Mommy! Daddy! Will you come play with me? Pretty please?!”

In that moment, playing with your child seems like a chore. But think of all the long term benefits—mentally, physically, and socially—for your child when she plays and especially, when she plays with you. We’re betting once you read further, you’ll think twice about saying “no” the next time she asks.

Parent child play helps build strong relationships!!
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Benefits of Parent-Child Play

All children benefit from unstructured playtime with other children, including their siblings, and even playing by themselves. But there are special benefits that come from playing with a parent or other loving adults.

1. Play helps children develop all kinds of skills.

Playing with your child is one way to help him or her develop social skills and self-control. Children’s minds are like little sponges. They soak up everything around them. As they interact with parents and others, they learn how people behave in social settings. They also learn what’s acceptable by taking their cues from you.

In addition, research has linked parent-child pretend and physical play to the development of specific skills including:

Creativity
Working memory
Gross motor skills
Cognitive flexibility
Regulation of emotions
Peer group and social skills.

Moreover, while kids develop many of the above skills playing with their siblings, parents offer a child more mature and varied forms of play. Because adults know more about the world, playing with the adults in their lives widens children’s imaginations in ways that playing with other children, even older siblings, does not.

For example, child development studies show infants and preschoolers often use behaviors that require a partner when playing with parents, but are less likely to do so when playing with a sibling. This makes sense. Your child craves interaction with you. Playing with other children is fun, but nothing compares to the joy and satisfaction of getting one’s parent to enter your special world of make-believe. It’s the stuff of memories!

2. Play helps build strong relationships.

Playing together is one of the most effective tools for building strong relationships with your child too. Play adds joy, vitality, and resilience to relationships. It can heal resentments, disagreements, and hurt. Through play, children learn to trust others and feel safe.

By making a conscious effort to incorporate humor and play into your daily interactions with your children, you can improve the quality of your relationships and connect on a deeper level. Play and laughter perform an essential role in building strong, healthy parent-child relationships by bringing you closer together, creating a positive bond, and resolving conflict.

3. Play is good for mom and dad’s health too.

It’s important to play with your child for your child’s sake. But, as an added bonus, you receive benefits from playing with your child too. The hormone oxytocin, which plays a role in parent-infant bonding, is released whenever mothers and fathers engage in affectionate play with their children of any age.

So, the next time you feel too exhausted to play with your child, you might try reframing the situation. Think of it as a relaxing massage for your mind that you don’t have to pay for!

How to Play with Your Child.

If you’re not sure how to play with your child, don’t worry! Lots of parents feel a bit awkward or silly, at first, playing pretend or engaging in childlike physical behavior. All you really need to do to be a good playmate for your child, though, is actively observe, listen to her stories, support her chosen mode of play, and engage in conversation.

Be sure to provide mutual interaction without continually intervening or controlling the conversation. Allow your child to explore his environment and sensations. Let him draw you in. Then be engaged and collaborate, which will teach your child to do the same in his future interactions.

Looking for some new ideas for playing with your child? take a look at these tips from the Women and Children’s Health Network:

Sorting toys: learning about numbers, shapes, and grouping objects.

Puzzles: learning about shapes, sizes, numbers.

Pretend play and dress up: social and emotional development.

Storytelling: learning about and developing language skills. I loved to add props from a homemade story basket. I am dyslexic and it helped to have props and build a scene while ad-libbing. Russ did night time stories. He used rhythms' in his voice when reading to our kids.

Throwing and catching: motor skills, physical development.

Enjoy this one-on-one time as you help your little one develop the skills that she will soon be ready to apply on her own.

Playing With Your Toddler

The brain develops fastest during the first three years of life when the foundation is laid for a child’s lifelong development. While brain development continues throughout development, evidence shows that a child’s experience in the first 1,000 days of life can have a greater impact on a child’s life trajectory than any other period of life. Between the ages of four and six, children reach a second peak in brain and skill development. Research indicates that during both of these critical phases of early development, which set children on course for the future, play is critical. Play is the way that young children learn and develop necessary skills.

Unfortunately, play is too often underestimated in early childhood programmes despite being the most natural way of acquiring essential life skills in early childhood. The LEGO Foundation’s early childhood initiatives provides young children with learning through play experiences and works to shift adult attitudes and behaviours around play and learning. In this way, the initiatives strives to establish play as an accepted and necessary aspect of all children’s lives in the settings in which they spend time: at home, in early childhood centres and in communities.There’s a lot happening during playtime. Little ones are lifting, dropping, looking, pouring, bouncing, hiding, building, knocking down, and more.

Children are more than busy when they’re playing. When your children play with you, they are also learning that they are loved and important and that they are fun to be around. Learn more about how these social-emotional skills give babies the self-esteem and self-confidence they need to continue building loving and supportive relationships all their lives.

While children do need time to play alone and with other children without adult intervention, research shows that playtime with parents is also important. Children crave time with parents. It makes them feel special. Parents are encouraged to find time to spend playing with their kids on a regular basis. This should include one to one with each child and group time with all of the adults and kids in the home.

If you are a single parent or have an only child, occasionally invite family or friends over to play.
In pretend play, let the child develop the theme. Get into their world.
Let them go with it.
Ask questions.
Play along. Be silly along with them and have fun. Avoid over-stimulation. Know when it is time to stop. Also, when appropriate, parents can use stuffed animals or puppets to act out real-life situations that can teach problem solving or social skills. Let the puppet demonstrate the wrong way to handle a situation. Then, along with input from the child, act out a better way. Afterward, let the child do the same.

More Possibilities:
Play outdoors.
Throw balls.
Push kids on swings.
Make mud pies.
Go on a hike around the neighborhood.
Take a nature walk in your backyard.
Play games – card games – board games – silly and wacky kids games.
Help them learn to take turns, how to win and how to loose.
Praise them.
Encourage them.
Laugh with them.
Get involved in a craft project together.
Build a jigsaw puzzle as a family.
Bake cookies.
Paint a picture.
Listen to music together.
Sing along.
Play rhythm instruments along with music.
Get out the guitar or keyboard and make music. Read a book together.
Ask questions.
Ask them to change the story or make up a new one.
Watch a movie together.
Find out what they liked – how they felt.
Discover the child’s interests.
Comment on and discuss any bothersome content either words or actions.
Play kid games like: Follow the Leader – Guess What I Am? – Hide and Seek
Help kids when they show the need it or ask for it. Use it as a time to teach: patience problem solving social skills creativity

Playing with kids builds a bond that will last forever. It lets the child know he or she is loved and appreciated. It opens the door for sharing problems and concerns when the need arises. It helps the parent get to know and under the uniqueness of each child. It is also great stress reducer for overworked parents.

Family Activities are great for the whole family. They help develop strong family bonds which can last a lifetime. It can be said that a family who plays together stays together. They also are more cooperative, supportive and have open communication.

These qualities pay off in big dividends by increasing self-esteem, social skills and a sense of connectedness that helps kids and teens use good judgment when confronted with difficulties and temptations. Family Game Night: Here’s a great tradition that is easy to start. Pick a night and make it family game night. Gradually add games that can be fun for the entire family. Take turns choosing the game to play. Make sure the games are appropriate for the youngest player. A great time to bond through friendly competition. Learn how to take turns and play fair. Learn how to be a good looser and well as a good winner. Encourage Outdoor Activities Now is the time to stop the “Couch Potato” syndrome. Pediatricians find that most kids are not getting enough exercise.

Parents can be good role models by going outside and playing along with their kids. Hey, it is good for adults as well. Encourage your child to be active. Help them develop motor coordination and learn good sportsmanship.

Continue reading at https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-development/play-work-of-children/pl5/#gs.f6et4p | Child Development Institute

The Best Ways to Play With Your Baby

By Rebecca Stewart April 13, 2014

Playing is serious business. It's how your little one gears up for all those milestones you're waiting to chronicle in your baby book: rolling over, sitting up, and more. It gives him the tools he needs to make cognitive leaps too. "When a baby explores the world around him, he learns how things work, which is the foundation for the development of language as well as the understanding of math and science," says speech-language pathologist Rebecca Landa, Ph.D., director of the Center for Autism and Related Disorders at Kennedy Krieger Institute, in Baltimore. "He discovers how high he can stack blocks before they topple, how much pressure he has to put on something to make it move, and how that pressure relates to the size and weight of an object."

When babies don't hit their milestones on time, physical or occupational therapists use early-intervention exercises to help them catch up. These little games can also help a child who's developing normally. "Babies who get these kinds of enrichment activities with caregivers tend to have more advanced motor, communication, and social skills," says Dr. Landa. This is how to help your baby make the most of his precious playtime.

Let them reach and grab.

While your infant is on his back, dangle toys of different shapes in front of him to see if he can grasp them and bring them to his mouth. At first, he'll probably just swat them. Move a toy higher, lower, and to the side. "Offer your baby a variety of kinds of objects so he learns how to approach them with his hand in the right position," says Dr. Landa. "Lying there, looking at a rattle, assessing the shape and figuring out how to put his fingers around it, grasp it, and bring it to his mouth may sound like a mundane thing, but it's a great accomplishment for a baby." Eventually he'll use these same skills to take books off a shelf.

Get down to their level.

Make sure your infant hangs out on her belly every day while she's awake -- even if she complains. "The reason a baby fusses on her tummy is because her muscles are weak," explains Dr. Landa. They need tummy time to practice holding her head up, getting up on her elbows, and balancing on one elbow while she grabs a toy. Playing with toys while having to support her body weight with her arms requires different muscles and skills than playing with toys when she's on her back and reaching out into open air.

Help them stretch out.

Starting at about 3 months, put your baby on his back, gently take his ankles in your hands, bend his knees, and then stretch his legs toward you to increase his flexibility and help him get a sense of where his legs are in space. You can make it more fun by saying "in" and "out," singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat," and kissing his feet. As he gets stronger, he'll start pushing his legs out on his own.

Play ball.

By 6 months, your baby should be able to sit on an inflatable exercise ball if you hold her securely on her hips. Tilt the ball slowly so that she has time to realize what's happening and shift her weight. This will strengthen her core muscles and help her improve her balance. As she gets stronger, you can move the ball a little faster and tilt her farther. Make it fun by bouncing her gently and singing rhymes. "If you do it on a regular basis using the same words, your baby will start to understand them," says Dr. Landa. "The rhythm of the music helps babies remember words."

Give him new things.

While your baby is sitting up, either supported or on his own, hand him objects of different weights and shapes so he can learn to use his muscles to hold them. That child's ability to pick up toys, look at them, put them in his mouth, pass them from hand to hand, rotate them to get a different view, and bang them helps him learn enough about objects to eventually attach words to them.

Bring out the blocks.

Babies who play with blocks not only have stronger fine motor skills but more advanced language, according to research by pediatrician Dimitri Christakis, M.D., director of the Center for Child Health, Behavior, and Development at Seattle Children's Research Institute. The physical act of playing with the blocks isn't as important as the conversations that occur as your baby is sorting and stacking and you're creating things together and explaining what they are, says Dr. Christakis.

Play it forward

Encourage your baby to belly crawl. Some babies skip this step and begin crawling on their hands and knees without their belly touching the floor. Either way, it helps a baby develop strength in the hips and trunk, which is necessary for standing, as well as in the muscles of the shoulder girdle, which will help her handwriting in the future, says Gay L. Girolami, Ph.D.. Once your baby can get up on her hands and knees, place toys in front of her so that she has to support herself with one hand while she reaches for them. Then move the toys out to 11, 10, and then 9 o'clock. Do it on the other side too. "As your child reaches in different directions, she'll learn to shift her weight more to her shoulders and legs," explains Dr. Girolami. Soon she'll take off!

Reach for new heights.

Put toys slightly out of reach -- on a sofa cushion on the floor, for example -- to encourage your baby to explore upward from a crawling position, suggests Dr. Girolami. You can gradually place objects even higher (on a low bookshelf or a sofa with the seat cushion removed).

Set up an obstacle course.

Challenge your little one by blocking his path with a cushion, suggests Dr. Girolami. At first, he may scoot around it. Then set up a row of pillows so that he has to climb over them.

Help her squat.

Once your baby can stand, place a small box about 8 inches away from her when she's at a coffee table or a sofa. Put a toy on the box and she'll have to squat to pick it up. After she's mastered that, place the toy on the floor. You can also move the box farther away from the sofa so that she'll have to turn and squat to reach the object. Do it in both directions and move the box farther and farther out, until she's turning 90 degrees. "This will encourage her to go from shuffling sideways along a sofa to walking forward," says Dr. Girolami.

Push off.

Once your child can squat, stand, and cruise, he's probably ready to push one of those little toy shopping carts so he can practice walking independently. Dr. Girolami recommends weighing it down with a 5-pound bag of flour placed in a bag, so it doesn't go too fast.

Dealing with delays

There's a wide range of normal when it comes to motor milestones, and experts worry most about kids who have multiple delays. Missing a single motor milestone may simply mean that a child hasn't had a lot of experience with that particular skill.

Motor delays are especially worrisome for babies who have relatives with autism. "Other problems may develop later, like communication and social delays," says Dr. Landa. According to her research, 6-month-olds at high risk for autism often flop their head back when being pulled up to sit -- and babies who did this were more likely to eventually be diagnosed with autism or a social or communication delay.

4-6 months
Roll from tummy to back

5-6 months
Roll from back to tummy

6-7 months
Sit independently

By 8 months
Transition out of sitting; push up on hands and knees

By 9 months
Belly crawling or crawling on hands and knees with belly off the floor

10-12 months Pull to a stand

12-15 months
Walk

The sooner that major delays are identified, the easier they are to correct. If your child's skills aren't following this timeline, bring it up with your pediatrician.

Toys that teach

It may seem like toys with flashing lights and fun sounds have the most to offer babies, but the opposite is true, says Dr. Landa. "Adults are the ones who think those kinds of toys are cool," she explains. "When a baby puts blocks into a container, she creates the 'clunk' sound, she sees them fall. And that's great. She doesn't need the container to light up too." For some kids, those extras are distracting; children focus more on the cause and effect than learning to play with the toy.

You also don't have to spend a fortune on toys, says parent Jenn Berman, Psy.D., author of Superbaby. Bubbles, for example, are inexpensive and excellent for encouraging eye tracking and coordination, and as your child gets older she can reach for them, chase after them, and start blowing them too.

Some other objects Dr. Berman recommends:

6 months Soft balls, crinkle toys, stuffed toys, plush trucks

9 months Stacking toys, sorting toys, nesting toys, toy food, Giant Lego Bricks, bounce toys, baby dolls, fabric tunnels a baby can crawl through that fold up like an accordion

12 months Blocks, puppets, large wooden peg puzzles, wagons, music toys, finger-paint, nontoxic crayons, toy kitchens, and dolls with clothes that can be changed

Parents Magazine
By Rebecca Stewart

Babies are Driven to Discover

Have you ever noticed your child watch a truck driving by or pick up a ladybug? That is an example of how your child develops thinking skills. Young children develop thinking skills—such as understanding cause and effect and developing the ability to reason—by exploring and learning how things fit together. They use their senses to learn, and they also need the support of a caring adult to describe and encourage their exploration and curiosity. As you talk to your child, you are also supporting your

child’s ability to learn other languages later in life. Through loving, nurturing relationships, children feel comfortable exploring their environments, deepening their understanding of how the world works.

Consider the following strategies to support your child’s curiosity and encourage your child’s discovery.

Promote curiosity and exploration by allowing your child to discover what your child sees and does:

• Describe the quantity, weight, and shape of objects using descriptive words such as, big, small, in, out, more, less, heavy, light, round, or squared.

• Your child learns that actions produce a response when he lets go of an item and you pick it up for him. He is learning cause and effect and might be thinking, “If I drop this rattle, somebody will pick it up.”

Stimulate experimentation using items found at home:

• Your child can use pots, lids, or plastic containers and practice putting one inside the other.

• Provide objects that your child can rip or bang in order to explore how they work.

• Remember to include your child’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins during play time.

Facilitate the development of problem-solving skills and persistence:

• Provide only the necessary help to allow your child to solve difficult tasks. For example, stay close when your child is putting on her shoes but do not take over when you observe her struggling.

• Offer to help, and allow your child to seek your help comfortably when he needs it.

• Encourage your child to keep trying and not give up when she performs a challenging activity or struggles building a tower of blocks.

Encourage imaginary play:

• Offer boxes, old clothing, and everyday objects that you no longer use for your child to practice pretend play with other children.

• Inspire your child to pretend that an old box is a new car to build symbolic thinking.

Magic of Everyday Moments: Driven to Discover

The support that you provide your child facilitates early learning and the development of thinking skills. Early experiences that promote wonder, discovery, experimentation, problem solving, and persistence further encourage the development of these skills. Share your ideas, questions, and feelings about the development of thinking skills andthe Magic of Everyday Moments video, Driven to Discover:

How Thinking Skills Develop Through Everyday Play and Exploration with another parent or person you trust with these discussion starters:

• Think about something new that you learned. How did

it feel to learn something new? How do you think your

child feels when he learns something new?

• How do you currently support your child’s development

of thinking skills? What new strategy will you implement

to further support these skills?

• What household items can you give your child to play

with? Plastic containers, boxes?

• What type of play does your child enjoy most? How can

you tell?

• How do you show your child that you understand what

she communicates to you?

Additional Resources:

• Your Baby’s Development: Birth to 3 Months, 3 to 6 Months, 6 to 9 Months, 9 to 12 Months,

12 to 15 Months, 15 to 18 Months, 18 to 24 Months, 24 to 30 Months, 30 to 36 Months

www.zerotothree.org/resources/200-driven-to-discover-how-thinking-skills-develop-througheveryday-play-and-exploration

• News You Can Use: Foundations of School Readiness: Cognition and General Knowledge

eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/hslc/tta-system/ehsnrc/docs/nycu-cognition.pdf